Wednesday, January 6, 2016

A conversation between MRAs

MRA1: The most oppressed people on Earth are men like us who are not getting all the male privilege to which our dicks should entitle us.

MRA2: Hear hear! Women don't pay me the attention they owe me. So how do we get them to center us in everything they do?

MRA1: Hear me out. We use transsexuals.

MRA2: Wait, what?

MRA1: We start out simple: "Transwomen are women, period." This makes an opening in the category "woman."

MRA2: Wait, you mean, chicks with dicks?

MRA1: Yeah man, but nevermind porn for a second OK? We say they're just chicks, period. This will be the easy part. Nobody wants to accept that some males are very feminine, nobody even wants to think about SRS. *shivers*

MRA2: Geez, bro.

MRA1: Right? They'll want to hand-wave it all away, like yes, sure, transwomen are women, they're weirdos but I'm liberal and super-tolerant of weirdos like women who think they're just as human as men, black people who think they're just as human as white people, and gay people who think gay sex is normal. *snicker*

MRA2: I don't mind some girl on g-

MRA1: I said nevermind porn for a second! God.

MRA2: Sorry.

MRA1: My point is, they'll just want to shove transwomen into their "approved weirdo box" so they can point to it and feel extra cool!

MRA2: Pfft. Libtards.

MRA1: I know right? Anyway, then we get to the harder part, where we re-define "transwoman."

MRA2: What do you mean?

MRA1: We say that what makes a dude a transwoman is a special feeling inside. A woman feeling.

MRA2: But won't the feminazis protest that there is no "woman feeling"?

MRA1: Yeah, even though we all know women are like delicate little children inside, while men have to be the adults and do all the work and fighting.

MRA2: I know, they have it so easy.

MRA1: Yeah, but we're not allowed to say all that out loud, so instead we just leverage how gross female biology is!

MRA2: OMG periods are so gross.

MRA1: Don't even get me started on breastfeeding.

MRA2: So gross! Boobs are to make my penis happy, not to feed babies!

MRA1: Anyway. We say that to define women as human females is to reduce them to their female parts, which everybody knows are gross.

MRA2: Isn't that like saying the phrase "black people" reduces people to their epidermises?

MRA1: Exactly! And we all know we're supposed to be colorblind, right? We're supposed to pretend black people are human even though they aren't white! We're supposed to pretend women are human even though they aren't male! Liberals want us to politely pretend, well quid pro quo, they should be willing to pretend penises are female!

MRA2: What? No. No way, man! Won't actual transsexuals protest this? I mean, they want SRS, right? Not just to call their penises female?

MRA1: Don't worry about that, nobody wants to listen to a tranny, they'll just want to use trannies as disgust tolerance merit badges!

MRA2: Oh, right. Genius.

MRA1: So, we go for: Anybody with a dick who claims special lady feelings is a transwoman. No dysmorphia required, no transition required. We can claim to be transwomen, but still keep our dicks. If we push it far enough we can even keep our neckbeards.

MRA2: Whoa.

MRA1: I know, right? Feminism is about women. Only women belong in women's spaces. But transwomen are women. And any dude is a transwoman if he says so. So any dude can claim the right to women's attention and care just by claiming special lady feelings!

MRA2: This can't work. Even liberals aren't that dumb.

MRA1: We'll see.

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