Friday, March 4, 2016
Of course I am sad that someone I considered a friend has rejected the analysis I believed we shared, and is befriending known abusers.
I am also concerned about that person, as I believe she deserves better than those abusers, but I have had to let her go, as I do not want to let those abusers anywhere near my life.
This doesn't mean that I've stopped trusting individual transwomen. I was vilified by at least a dozen women identifying as radical feminists several years ago, and they continue to mock and misrepresent me to this day. But I haven't stopped trusting individual women.
It seems to me that a small group of transwomen and a small group of radical feminists need each other, to define themselves against each other and rage against each other in a pre-determined script that satisfies the identity needs of each party. (I am reminded of Chang and Britta in the "Geography of Global Conflict" episode of Community.)
I'm not interested in being a part of that situation, and I don't think it should frame the larger picture of gender analysis. Gender isn't about "TERFs" vs. AFTAs. Gender is about socializing little boys to grow up to be sadists and little girls to grow up to be masochists. I'm not interested in flipping those roles, I'm interested in abolishing them.